she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
