So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
