dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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