Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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