did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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