two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
