found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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