I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
