All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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