We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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