some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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