make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Randomize
