So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
