I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
