Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
