What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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