Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
