You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
