You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you had me at cake vodka
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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