Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
