What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
