I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
