he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
