Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
