yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
