It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
