Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
