From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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