Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
