i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
