Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
