so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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