she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
