After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
