You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
