he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Randomize
