Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
