who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
