I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
