Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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