I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
