What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
