Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
