Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
