Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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