Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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