Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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