I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
