So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize