Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
