She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
