if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wear drunk well.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
