Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
