I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
