Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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