i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
